Alrighty… Time to tackle the questions of “why”. Andrew, why would you drop everything and leave the country for a year? Why would you quit your job and give up the security that it offers? Why would you give up a full year’s worth of salary, right as you are stepping into your peak earning potential? Why would you uproot your life from all friends and family? Why are you going on World Race? What is World Race? Is it just a year of vacation? Are you sure this is the best decision for you?
To even try and answer these questions, we need to jump back a decade to 2010.
It is October 8, 2010. I am an incredibly frustrated and broken 17-year-old kid. My identity is completely wrapped up in my success in soccer. I am driving home from a 1-0 loss to a bitter rival. Not only did we lose, but we lost because the ref called a phantom handball in the box, with 5 minutes left in the game. I’m mad.
On top of that, I am incredibly confused and broken. See, 5 months ago I lost a friend to leukemia. His name was Matt. I grew up playing club soccer with him. He was a kid who really loved this Jesus guy that I heard all about, every Sunday morning. Like something was different about Matt. It wasn’t just that he knew about Jesus, but he genuinely cared about Him. In the aftermath of Matt’s passing, I either hate God or don’t believe He exists. Tonight’s game was against his high school. There are a lot of thoughts running through my head because tonight forced me to remember everything that happened.
Little do I know that my life is about to change forever.
As I am flipping through the radio stations, the bridge of In Christ Alone comes on. I hear: “No guilt in life. No fear in death. This is the power of Christ in me. From life’s first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from His hand. Till He returns, or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I’ll stand.”
LIGHT BULB MOMENT. I so wish that I could accurately describe to you what happened to me in that moment. In that moment, I got it. I understood why Matt had such hope amidst such horrible circumstances. I understood who Jesus really was. He wasn’t just some guy in the sky that I had to work really hard to please. Jesus was REAL. He was tangible. He was personal. He LOVED me. He SO loved me that He died on a cross for me, and He didn’t do so just to prove a point. He didn’t do so to make me a better person. Jesus DIED to pay the price for MY sin. He didn’t just lay some rules down for me to follow to be morale. God didn’t just look past, or forgive, my sin. Jesus BORE it on Himself. Then 3 days later, He defeated death once and for all by rising from the grave. And He did so to restore my RELATIONSHIP with the Father. Jesus didn’t take me from bad to good. Jesus took me from dead to alive. In one moment, all of this head knowledge came rushing forward in real, personal, tangible ways.
I wish I could tell you that the fullness of all of that hit me and I never looked back. But that isn’t true. The last 10 years of walking with Jesus have been a wild adventure. They have been full of ups and downs, failures and successes, truth and grace, pride and redemption, doubt and uncertainty, questions and wrestling, and so many things. But the story He has written over my life is so far beyond anything I could have ever dreamed.
I made the decision to lay soccer down and not play in college. I went to Butler University. I was discipled for the first time. I graduated. I learned what it meant to not just know about Jesus but to KNOW Jesus. I learned how to hear His voice. I saw Him work in MIRACULOUS ways. I went on mission in Honduras, Nicaragua, and South Africa. I had countless opportunities to step into leadership. I had so many opportunities to teach/preach.
My life looks NOTHING like it did before Jesus. He has taken a kid who only cared about my success in sports and cute girls, and He has put an absolute obsession in me for people to KNOW Jesus. He has taken a kid who would blush like crazy and hated speaking in front of people, and He has given me opportunity after opportunity to preach/teach the Gospel boldly. He has changed EVERYTHING about the way that I pursue people. He has changed EVERYTHING about my friendships. He has changed EVERYTHING about my desires. NOTHING looks the same.
There are so many moments that I could share over the past decade, but they can all be summarized by this: Jesus is GOOD. Even when circumstances don’t make sense. He remains faithful even when I am faithless. He paid the price for ALL of me, and you, when He hung on that cross. His promise isn’t an easy/comfortable life. It is actually quite the opposite. But His BEAUTIFUL promise is that He goes with us. Just like Moses in Exodus 3, He defines me as the one that He WANTS to be with. He defines you that same way. His promise is that He is the only one who can truly satisfy/fulfill the deepest desires of our hearts… love, purpose, joy. He is the very thing we were designed for! And I can tell you that those promises are TRUE.
But there is also a truth that following Him is COSTLY. He costs EVERYTHING. My hopes. My plans. My dreams. Who I marry, or if I get married. What job I take. Where I spend money. Where I invest time. My social status. My “just fitting in” or living a “normal” life. My comfort. My control. ALL of it. There is no conditional following Jesus. It is ALL or it is nothing. 99% in is no different than 0% in. Any lukewarmness is worthless. But let me tell you, He is SO WORTH it. He PAID for ALL of me on that cross. His thoughts, plans, dreams, and hopes for my life are so far beyond mine.
The Lord spoke this word of ALL or nothing in leading up to choosing World Race. He spoke primarily through 2 passages. They are Matthew 25 and Luke 14.
Matthew 25:14-30 is the parable of the talents. A master entrusts bags of gold to three servants. The first servant receives 5 bags. The second servant receives 2 bags. The third servant receives 1 bag. After a while, the master comes back to settle matters. The first and second servant had doubled their 5 and 2 bags respectively. They are told, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness”. The third servant buried his bag. The servant did so because he “knew” the master to be a hard man. This servant is told, “You wicked, lazy servant! You knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Then, you should have put my money on deposit with bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.”
Luke 14:15-24 is the parable of the great banquet. A master invites 3 servants to a dinner banquet. The first servant says that he can’t come because he just bought land. The second servant says that he can’t come because he just bought five yoke of oxen. The third servant says he can’t come because he just got married. The master gets angry and says, “Not one of those who were invited will get to taste of my banquet”.
Both passages are a clear call to live a life that is RISKY. We are not called to safe, comfortable, normal lives. And the point of the first passage isn’t even return. The servants are told well done for their faithfulness to risk/invest the money rather than playing it safe and burying it. It is not accurate, or obedient, to live a life that sits back and says, “Well God is sovereign. If He wants something to come to pass in my life, He is just going to make it happen”. God opens doors and gives invitations, and we are invited to walk through them. Patience isn’t just sitting around and waiting. Patience is choosing to look for where God IS MOVING, and joining Him there, while waiting on Him to move elsewhere. Patience is an action. The lazy servant made his decision to live safe because he was operating out of “I knew you to be…” rather than “I know you to be…”. We are called to lives of looking for where God IS moving… not just where He moved in the past and where He will move in the future.
The second passage breaks down a lie that saying no to the Lord is always obvious/blatant opposition to Him. These 3 men all said no to the invitation because of good things. They missed the call on their life because they were so concerned with “normal”. They literally miss eternity and relationship with the Father (the banquet) because they were unwilling to step through discomfort. They said no because it didn’t make perfect logical and circumstantial sense. It wasn’t convenient.
The Lord asked me some very challenging questions through these 2 passages.
See, I have said for years that I thought full-time missions were in my future, at some point. But, I always hid behind waiting for circumstances to align. I wanted it to make sense. I wanted to have a 2×2 to go with (just as the disciples were sent out in pairs, I wanted a wife first). I was waiting to maybe have 2 bags of gold to invest rather than just 1. It felt logical. It felt wise. But the Lord asked me if I am willing to live a life that risks everything, even when it doesn’t make sense. He asked me if I am willing to FULLY trust Him, even when circumstances don’t align. He asked me if I am willing to step into the kind of trust that is scary and uncertain… the kind of trust that strips ALL control, not just the kind of trust that leaves me still capable of controlling outcomes in case He doesn’t respond. He asked me if I am willing to pick the option that strips ALL control and comfort… no matter what it cost me. He asked me if I am willing to lay down ALL of my life in surrender, not just the 95% that isn’t actually very hard/costly to give Him.
I wrestled with these questions for a couple of months. In the meantime, I watched the Lord allow so many areas of my life to be frustrated… my job, church, relationships, etc… and I watched Him strip so many platforms/areas of influence. He was graciously making the invitation even more clear.
So, I looked at a few organizations. I had a few options on the table. I could join a church plant in Tennessee. I could move to Texas, become a pastor at a refugee church, and start a soccer ministry. I could do World Race. I could go overseas through other connections that I have. I could stay in Indy and make large changes here.
World Race became clear. It won my heart. I can’t wait to experience global missions. I can’t wait to see how vastly different ministry looks in different parts of the world. I can’t wait to watch God move in power. I can’t wait to share Jesus with the world. I can’t wait for Jesus to win my heart more fully. And I can’t wait to get to step into all of this within the community of our team!
Ultimately my “why” is this: The Lord invited me to go, and He is so worth my “yes”… no matter what it will cost! The great commission in Matthew 28 is a command… it is not a suggestion. I want to join the Father in taking the Gospel to the nations!
I hope that I was able to answer the questions of why. If you have more questions, I would love to chat with you! If you just want to talk in general, I would love to chat with you! PLEASE feel free to reach out!
Jesus SEES you. He KNOWS you. He LOVES you. And He so desperately wants you to KNOW Him! He is so so so GOOD, no matter how hard/confusing His plans might seem at times!
That is it for post 1! Hopefully I am doing this blog thing right 🙂
