Truthfully, I didn’t think I was going to write a blog this week. I was feeling incredibly drained, and didn’t have much to write about. Then last night happened, and here we are.
Last night we had a worship night at the church that we are partnering with, here in Jaco. I walked in knowing that I really needed the time and space to just be alone with the Lord. I went and sat on the floor in the corner of the room. Before I knew it, I was face down on the floor, crying, and worshipping.
The 4th song of the night was a song named The Sending. The lyrics are as follows:
“Let this room be shaken. Let our hearts be broken. Let Your church awaken to Your love. Oh, Holy Spirit move in our hearts. Send us with power into the world. Oh, Holy Spirit move in our hearts. Fill us with fire and love for the world”
In an instant, so many things came to mind. Specifically, two of those lines wrecked my heart. “Let Your church awaken to Your love” and “Fill us with fire and love for the world”.
I was reminded of the purpose of altars in scripture. In Genesis 12 Abram builds two altars. In verse 7, he builds an altar at a place called Shechem. In verse 8, he builds an altar between two cities… Bethel and Ai. There is so much significance to these names and places.
Shechem is in Canaan… this is what will eventually be the promised land. Bethel means the house of God. Ai means a heap of ruins. And the question for us is what do we do in those situations? What do we do when we get to the promised land only to see a famine? What do we do when we live in the tension between His blessing and our brokenness? What do we do when we are standing in between God’s promise and a place of chaos? Do we panic in that space? Because Abram chose something that is really hard to do. Abram built an altar and worshipped God in the face of complete uncertainty. He took a stance that said, “God whether I inherit Your blessing or a curse, You are worthy of my praise”.
Sometimes, God doesn’t call us to just eat the fruit of our labor. Sometimes He calls us to labor so that future generations can eat the fruit. Notice that years later this land is no longer in famine. This is the promised land that is flowing with milk and honey. Something happened between the moment that Abram stepped into Shechem and the moment Joshua walked into it. A man of God walked in obedience in that place, and it was forever changed. See God’s desire for calling you into a desert season isn’t for you to just hang on and endure. His dream is that the very desert itself will be transformed into a place of life, flowing with water. This is a truth that I am wrestling with and believing more and more, here in Jaco.
The chapter continues and Abram takes Sarai to Egypt, to escape the famine. He fails dramatically in this moment. Abram lies to pharaoh and tells him that Sarai is his sister. He sacrifices his bridal identity and breaks his covenant before God. Abram settles for a relationship that is cheaper and far less intimate because he is afraid. How often do we do that with God? And it is costly. It might seem like it isn’t a big deal, right? Abram did it to protect himself and his wife? But God cares about covenant. We are told that plagues come upon Egypt because of this. And that paints such a beautiful picture of God’s wrath and mercy combining. The wrath is obvious, but there is also so much mercy in this moment. The plagues lead to Abram and Sarai restoring their covenant!
And where does Abram go after this complete failure and disappointment? He goes back to the altar between Bethel and Ai. Abram might not have known what to do, but he knew where to go. He went back to the place that he knew he had heard from God. He goes back to the altar and begins to worship. See, altars aren’t just a place of worship. They are also a place of remembrance. They are a place where you can regain your focus and rediscover your passion.
This time around, Yahweh finds Abram finally willing to stand in His will, no matter what.
Flash forward to Abram’s grandson, Jacob. In Genesis 32, he wrestles with God. His name changes from Jacob to Israel. With literal meanings, his name changes from deceiver to prince of God. He doesn’t leave this wrestling the same. He walks with a limp for the rest of his life as a literal reminder to this moment of encounter with God. And where does he go after this wrestling match?
You guessed it! He goes back to the altar of his grandpa. He returns to the first altar that Abram built, at Shechem. He builds his own altar in this same place. His response to encountering God is to remember and to worship.
Altars symbolize places of remembrance all throughout scripture. My question for you is what are your stones of remembrance? What are your altars? Where are the places that God showed up so undeniably that your life was forever changed? Those are the places to run back to when you are standing in complete uncertainty and famine.
A few chapters earlier, Jacob has his famous vision of a ladder coming down from heaven. Many scholars believe that this location is the same location of the tower of Babel. And what beautiful imagery that is!
The tower of Babel represents God’s commitment to be the one who pursues. Man had this idea that they could reach God. And if they could accomplish that, then what good would the cross be? The Lord drove this point home at the tower of Babel. If we could reach the Father on our own, we would forever misunderstand His heart to pursue us relentlessly… in our brokenness. God confuses language and chaos ensues.
Jacob lays down in the rubble of this tower. He literally uses a stone as a pillow and has this dream about a ladder descending from heaven. The stones that symbolize Yahweh’s commitment to pursue mankind. His commitment to make sure that man would never believe it was in our own effort, but that it will forever be His commitment to seek and save the lost.
If your best efforts have toppled over, maybe just maybe it is because God wants you to know that He is pursuing you relentlessly. He is holding up His side of the bargain, and your side of the bargain.
In Genesis 15, God makes a covenant with Abraham. Covenants were super common at the time. You would cut an animal in half and both people would walk through the animal. Walking through was you saying that if you didn’t hold up your end of the agreement, may you be split in two like the animal you were walking through. Abraham never walks though. He falls asleep and sees a pot and torch walk through the covenant. It is Jesus walking through the covenant twice. It is Jesus saying this to you: “If I don’t keep my end of this covenant, may I be split in two. But also, if you don’t keep your end of this covenant, may I be split in two for you”.
I was reminded of two altars last night.
The first was a moment when I was maybe 5 years old. My parents booked a surprise trip to Disney World. They woke my sister and I up at like 4am to catch our flight. I vividly remember crying because I was going to miss show and tell. See, I didn’t cry because I didn’t want to go to Disney. I cried because we all have this tendency to cling so closely to what we have, even when the Father comes along with something so much better.
The second was why I said yes to World Race in the first place. I said yes for the exact cry of those song lyrics: “Let this room be shaken. Let our hearts be broken. Let Your church awaken to Your love. Oh, Holy Spirit move in our hearts. Send us with power into the world. Oh, Holy Spirit move in our hearts. Fill us with fire and love for the world”.
It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day. It is so easy to get caught up in what we are doing, or not doing. It is so easy to get caught up in thinking I have a better strategy when it comes to ministry. But the truth is that His desire for ministry is so much higher than mine. His love for people is so much higher than mine. My job is saying yes in obedience. His job is to make things happen.
I am believing that more and more. I am understanding the depth of the Father’s heart more and more. Specifically, I was brought to this place last night of thinking about how much pain and uncertainty I choose to walk through when I LOVE somebody or something. Then take that to the context of the brutality of the cross. How deep of LOVE does there have to be to willingly choose to experience pure agony?! To be stripped naked, beaten and whipped to the brink of death, forced to carry a 200 pound cross up a hill, nailed to a cross… with the nails intentionally placed on nerves so that pushing yourself up to just catch a breathe was pure agony, falsely accused and mocked, spit on, and left to suffocate to death. And all of this done while being completely abandoned by every single disciple other than John.
The cross wasn’t the Father just forgiving our sins. The cross was Jesus bearing the full weight of our sin. What LOVE?!
I pray that you are brought back to an altar, if you are reading this. I pray that you are brought back to a place where God showed up undeniably and that you regain vision, passion, and direction in that place. I pray that you never settle for a cheaper, less intimate relationship because of fear.
