I am sitting at a hotel that is right around the corner from our ministry, in Jaco. Week 2 of World Race is wrapping up with our weekly sabbath. The Lord just completely wrecked my heart this morning, with 2 passages.
Truthfully, I struggled with this week. See, I had expectations of what I thought World Race was going to look like… I thought we would be evangelizing like crazy. And what did I do this week? I scrubbed dirt off of a wall all week.
But the Lord is teaching me a lot about humility… which is comical because that is one of the words that I felt like the Father spoke over this year. I am learning that the Lord is going to get His glory, whether it looks like what I want it to or not. Yahweh is exposing the selfish parts of my heart that want to be able to see the fruit. But sometimes the beauty of ministry is teeing someone else up to be able to see fruit later on. And that is what we are getting to do this month. We are setting up our host to flourish in ministry going forward. We are quite literally re-writing the message spoken over this city. A city that has formerly been called a modern-day Sodom and Gomorra. We have been given complete freedom by the city to do whatever we want with the local parks. We are getting to paint murals all over this city that point to Jesus. Even though I might not get to see the fruit of that, the Lord is teaching me the humility of not getting to be the “finisher”.
He has also flipped my view of evangelism on its head. I used to really identify as an evangelist, and I still believe that is true. But He is slowly stripping away what I thought that meant. And here is what I mean: Evangelism is not just being able to accurately, and eloquently, explain the Gospel. There is so much of evangelism that is simply loving people.
Let me give you the example that the Lord has shown me this through. This past August I was living with some World Race friends in Tennessee. There was a night where we ended up at a waterfall at 1am… because that makes sense right? Anyways, there was a man sitting on the side of the road, holding an urn. I fell asleep next to this waterfall and woke up about 20 minutes later. One of my sweet friends had started talking to this man. I walked over and honestly only heard very small snippets of the conversation, over the roar of the waterfall. My friend was listening to the heartbreak of this man’s story. His wife had passed away less than a year ago, and this night was her birthday. I watched my friend sit with this man for over an hour. I could see the opening to share the Gospel, and pray over this man, but I could see my friend struggling to have the boldness to get to that point. I stepped in, was able to pray over this man, and just hug this man as he wept.
But here is what I want you to hear from that story. I would argue that the role my friend played in this encounter was far more important, and evangelistic, than my role. She made this man feel so incredibly loved, known, seen, and heard. She chose to LOVE this man. I simply got to step in and share. But without this friend loving this man so incredibly well, my explanation and prayer wouldn’t have carried any weight. What she did was just as important, if not more important, than the explanation/prayer itself. Ministry is simply loving people like Jesus. This sweet friend showed such a beautiful heart of evangelism that night.
And so back to now… The Lord is showing me how much of ministry/evangelism is simply choosing to love people… whether it is seen in bright lights or not.
Okay scripture time!
In Luke 7, there is a woman who washes the feet of Jesus with perfume. Context: This woman was a prostitute. She was seen as way too dirty to interact with. Jesus was having dinner with a bunch of pharisees in one of their homes. This woman comes to a place of desperation. She busts through the doors, never says a word, and falls down weeping at Jesus’ feet. She pours out a bottle of perfume that was worth an entire year’s wage. She washes Jesus’ feet with this perfume and her tears. Then she wipes His feet dry with her hair.
There is so much symbolism in this story. First, it was common for prostitutes to have wildly expensive perfume. It was used to attract men. It was also used to help the woman feel clean at the end of the day, after living in her depravity. So, this woman takes this thing that was used to make her feel clean and approved… she pours it all out. Her actions show that she has reached desperation. The things that she used to try to clean herself up are empty. Jesus is her only chance.
Then we fast forward to John 13. This is the story of Jesus washing His disciples’ feet at the last supper. Peter is so against it. First, he says that Jesus shouldn’t wash his feet because he should wash Jesus’ feet. Then he tells Jesus that his whole body must be washed, not just his feet.
Isn’t this so like what our wrestling looks like. I know it is for me. Lord, if the cross really was enough, why do I still fail? But here is the beautiful imagery of this moment. Our identity is shifted from sinners to sons and daughters. Our whole body doesn’t need to be washed. Sometimes, there is just some dirt from where we have walked that tries to cling to us. But guess what? Jesus will ALWAYS be there to wash our feet. This process isn’t an insult to the cross but an acknowledgement of His ridiculous love.
Peter got caught in a false humility. The same false humility that has resulted in me apologizing for my passion. The same false humility that has resulted in me not always fully sharing truth for a fear of being overbearing.
What Jesus says is WILD. He tells Peter, “If I do not wash you, you have no place with Me”. Think about that! Like really think about that! After 3 years of walking together… 3 years of profound intimacy and unity… Like Peter walked on water, was there for the 5000, saw Lazarus raised… Peter was there for it all… and after 3 years of that, Jesus says if you don’t let me wash your feet, we are done. We can’t go any further. He draws a line in the sand.
What a beautiful, scary truth there is in this. If we fail to let Jesus wash the dirt off of our feet, we can’t go further… even if we have been walking with Him for YEARS. There is a mandate that we have to be willing to let Him put his hands on our dirt. See, Jesus isn’t after just getting us out of hell. He is after complete freedom. He settles for nothing short of healing our deepest insecurities and shame.
And so the question is this: Am I willing to let Jesus wash my feet? Am I willing to humble myself enough to let Him into the vulnerable parts of guilt, shame, and insecurity?
It can be a hard, long, tiring, painful process… just like scrubbing walls. But it is so necessary and beautiful.
Want to know what is crazy? This is the very next day after the woman washed Jesus’ feet. The woman washed Jesus’ feet. The next day, Jesus washed His disciples’ feet at the last supper. That night He prayed in the garden and was arrested. The following day He was killed.
WHAT BEAUTIFUL IMAGERY, Y’all!
Jesus looks at His disciples and says the way that woman loved me last night is the way I love you. Just as she poured everything she owned out for Me… that is what I am about to do for you. Her love for me is the closest example that I have seen for My love for you. A love that isn’t intimidated or insecure. A love that doesn’t care about being embarrassed. A love that stays completely lost in pursuit. A love that is willing to be completely humiliated… all for the sake of us knowing that love.
Lord, let our lives be marked as holy because of Your pursuit, not ours. I have days where I am tired, distracted, and discouraged… but Your pursuit and passion never stop. Oh, to have my life marked by Your love for me, not my attempts to love You.
“While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”. When we were still in every way opposed to everything about Him, He still moved first. He was still moved in compassion to pay the ultimate price to see us redeemed from our ultimate depravity.
