I am just going to dive straight in with this blog. For those of you who don’t know, I have coronavirus. My roommate actually went to get tested last week… the results came back positive. Today is day 12 since the onset of my symptoms. Before panic sets in, I am almost fully recovered at this point… I went for a run today at my normal distance and pace. I did some absurd 1000 pushups in an hour challenge last night. I am feeling back to normal. The only thing left is this weird symptom of completely losing my sense of smell and taste.
That said, the last couple weeks have been interesting… to say the least. Thankfully, the only severe symptom that I experienced was the fever. It was the first symptom that came, and my temperature rose from 98 to 103 in less than an hour. I woke up so hot that I literally went and stood out on my deck, in nothing but my underwear… and it was 30 degrees outside. After starting to take Tylenol, the fever held at 100-101 for the next 2 days. Finally, on day 3, it broke. Apart from that I experienced a dry cough, aches, headaches right behind my eyes, and just significant fatigue. Thankfully, none of those symptoms were horrible. They weren’t fun, but they were manageable. Those symptoms lingered for over a week. Finally, symptoms seemed to be completely gone on day 10.
All in all, I was very fortunate. I am thankful that I am an active, fit, and healthy 27-year-old. I am thankful that I never experienced any of the breathing issues that so often come with the virus. I haven’t been THIS thankful to simply be able to work out in a long time. It was not a very fun couple of weeks, but it could have been so much worse. At this point, we just have a couple of days left in COMPLETE isolation. On Monday we can go back to living “normal” lives, like everyone else!
BUT, the last 2 weeks were not wasted. The Lord spoke, and did, some REALLY cool things in this season! There are two things about Peter that have come up, and I would love to share them with you.
1. The Lord brought back to mind a thought that has come up many times, over the past couple years, for me. The observation is around Peter’s entire life really… but specifically, the story of Peter walking on water.
Basically, it is this idea that you find whatever you are looking for. If you wake up looking for reasons to complain, you will find them. If you wake up looking for reasons to rejoice, you will find them. Peter focuses on Jesus’ words that tell him to come, and he starts walking on water. Then we are specifically told that Peter SEES the waves and starts to sink. His focus shifted towards the storm around him. In this story, both the storm and Jesus’ words had power. What determined which was winning in Peter’s life was where Peter placed his focus.
Faith gets defined in this passage as a choice to focus on Jesus’ words rather than the storms around us. Jesus saw the disciples struggling, and He let them struggle for 9 hours before He came to them (He waited till the 4th watch of the night). It wasn’t disobedience that led the disciples to this storm. They were doing exactly what Jesus told them to do (meet Him on the other side).
What is super interesting is that fear is not mentioned in this story until Jesus shows up. The entire time they are struggling against the storm, there is no fear mentioned. But the second Jesus shows up, their first reaction is fear. Because faith REQUIRES risk. It requires us to walk through fear and uncertainty. Jesus does not show up and just make things “feel better”. He shows up with an invitation to step through the fear and to trust Him. The storm doesn’t calm down for the miracle to happen. In fact, the storm is needed for the miracle to happen. Because the whole point is to show that Jesus’ words conquer any storm/fear. And we can’t spend our lives waiting for the “weather” to be right. We will NEVER move if we live our lives based on the “what ifs” and worst case scenarios. There will always be the chance that a storm is on the horizon. The FREEDOM of the Christian life is the freedom to step through fear and try. It is a FREEDOM that KNOWS His love is unchanged by our successes and failures. The analogy that I love to share is to think of a little girl learning to walk. The Father’s response is not to label her a failure the first time she takes a step and falls. He is OVERjoyed that she took one step. He lovingly picks her back up and says “try again”. Over and over and over. And He rejoices at getting to walk through the process with her, regardless of if she falls 1 time or 100.
But the place where freedom really takes hold is when we get to the point that Peter did before writing his gospel. Peter did not even mention the fact that he walked on water in Mark 6. Matthew tells us that Peter walked on water in Matthew 14, but Peter never mentions it (Peter is the author of Mark… Mark was just his scribe). Like how in the absolute heck do you walk on water and not deem it even worth mentioning?! All Peter mentions is that Jesus said “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid”. But I think freedom is reaching the place where we stop collecting evidence. It is the place where we don’t need to see anything more to KNOW that He is good and that His word is true. The place where we don’t have to walk on water to believe that He is good and true. But it is the place where we simply have made our decision. The place where we simply choose to take Him at His word. Regardless of our mood or feelings, we commit to the fact that He is good and true. That doesn’t mean we don’t give testimony… that is not at all the case… we are CALLED to give testimony. But it means that we don’t need to see ANYTHING else to trust Him. It is like being in a court case. You can collect evidence forever. At some point, you just have to decide. I think Peter came to this point and didn’t feel the need to share any evidence beyond the fact that Jesus showed up.
I could ask myself 5 unanswerable questions, or I could share 5 undeniable moments of intimacy with the Lord. I could share miraculous story after story. But at some point, I just have to decide. FREEDOM comes when we finally decide that we have seen enough. That is the place where we can step through any fear/storm. That is the place where freedom reigns over fear and uncertainty. That is the place where we live a life chasing joy rather than minimizing pain. That is the place where we live a life chasing Jesus rather than running from fear.
2. Some of my best friends (Addison and Katrina… and their little guy, Aizen) are back from South Africa. I was talking to Addison last week, and he brought up this second observation. It is around the historical evidence of Peter and Andrew when it comes to fishing.
I was always told that Peter and Andrew were just barely scraping by… they weren’t successful fisherman. But, there is A LOT of evidence that this is not true. First, fishing on the Sea of Galilee was a SUPER lucrative business at the time. On top of that, historians have guesses as to the size of Peter and Andrew’s boat… it wasn’t some dinky little canoe. The boat had to be big enough that Jesus could sleep below while all of the disciples were above (Matthew 8). Additionally, the boat had to be big enough to handle the load of fish described in John 21. It was a big boat. On top of that, Peter and Andrew owned a home in Capernaum. This was known as a very wealthy city at this time.
All of that to say, Peter and Andrew were most likely not just scraping by. It is far more likely that they were doing very well for themselves. They owned a large boat, worked in a lucrative fishing business, and owned a home in a wealthy city.
Here is where the word gets cool. Peter and Andrew are never recorded catching a fish in scripture on their own. Both times they are seen fishing (Luke 5 and John 21), they had no fish until Jesus showed up.
The thought is thinking about Peter looking back on scripture with an attitude that says, “Thank You, Lord, that I never caught a fish.” And what that means is thank You, Lord, that my “success” in my job… my success in any worldly measure… is not what You chose to document about me.
There is zero success recorded about Peter’s occupation, yet we have incredible detail about his ministry (throughout the Gospels and Acts). For example, we see 5000 (actually way more than 5000 as biblical numbers would have only counted the men) came into the kingdom in a moment at Pentecost.
It provides this beautiful truth in our lives when it comes to questions about the future… questions like: What job do I take? What is my calling? On and on…
What the Lord cares about far more than what we do is how we choose to love/serve. Far more important than what job title I occupy is am I loving/serving the people around me. Am I pointing people to hope and joy? Am I pointing people to Jesus? That is what matters… not what I do.
What excites the Lord… the thing that He chose to provide incredible detail about for Peter… the thing that we still read about 2000 years later… is the way that Peter chose to love/serve people in his ministry. It is not how successful he was at his job.
And there is so much freedom in that truth. It takes so much pressure off of decisions. The questions that we need to ask ourselves are far more so, “How am I loving/serving the people around me?” and “How am I pointing the people around me to hope/joy… to Jesus?”
That isn’t even everything that the Lord has spoken/done in the last 2 weeks. I watched the Lord bring in substantial support for my trip through 2 incredible couples. I heard the Lord speak some beautiful/humbling truth through those 2 situations… Obedience is my role. Outcome is His. The Lord brought that ridiculous fruit forward during a time where I was literally sleeping 12 hours a day while recovering from being sick. I also watched the Lord give me an image/word, for a friend, during a time of prayer/worship.
All in all, it has been a rather “inconvenient” couple of weeks in terms of what I would choose. But the Lord used this season to speak/do some really BEAUTIFUL things. And that in itself is a reminder that the Lord is ALWAYS moving/speaking. He isn’t some distant/dormant God. He is alive, active, and personal. We simply have to be willing to actually look for where He is moving, and join Him there, rather than waiting for Him to move how we “want” Him to.
ps: check out this song. Beautiful lyrics about wanting to move the Lord’s heart more than anything else… no matter the cost!
